sin meant what she said
stirred by bad feelings, he was crying and he was laughing it was dark. he sent her a short text and another and hoped for the best, whatever best meant. it didn't go away, paranoia and premunitions in their best, eating little bits into a worn out boy. she reassured him it was noise. ki slept in the warm words of her heart.
another sunny day in an escape, the big empty room, occupied by a big bed that took up little space, ki was collapsed into a black space of time, thinking he may not get up, technology starved escape with all its fun and gore. it was a huge mansion, facing the beautiful end of the west sea. it wasn't a hard thing to be motivated by love, he felt ready to face the world in all its glory, in spades of patches, plasters and glue. this was it, life stripped bare of its complexities, the view, the sea, the air. if only she were there with him it would be perfect but things seldom were.
the dread of idling a day away got ki to his feet, a boy who did whatever he liked, bounded only by the strain in the leg or ache in the back. he wanted her to see it in his eyes. he took pictures. smiles of brothers in far away parts of the other side of the big house got ki through breakfast and swimming, tv, strolling, idling got him through the next part of the day till evening, the bbq. the food, atmosphere and a story about a smoking retard with undeserved recognitions and badges did him in and in hand a bottle of lite beer, ki got into his phone world to share his heart with girl. it wasn't meant to be rehearsed, it was supposed to be a beginning. he got a job, he got a break, he got something to share with someone special. but sin meant what the girl said.