to my recommended textbook,

as and when we start to recognise the fact that we're worlds apart, and that we'll never understand each other as we should, maybe that's the best time to not do what other people will do in a sheer need for easy comfort. for this reality is possibly the happiest choice we can make when the alternatives will likely end up as a roller coaster that will wrangle out all the hopes and illusions that we have left for a better future.

chances are i might be wrong, but i doubt it. very much so. i do apologise sincerely. i withdraw my confessions and condemn you to be left on the bookshelf at this time. a place where you most certainly don't belong and will likely be picked up by a worthier student of your heart. another who has a keen eye for a flawed diamond; a person equipped with tools to bring out your beauty with his talent. i believe this with all my heart.

what happened?*

to believe less every day

is not a choice that was made, 

nor something for someone to justify otherwise,

or feel compelled to.


maybe its just a new normal, 

after long realising life is not perfect.


-tune in to when reality bites!-


edit note to self*

this post is misleading because one should remain optimistic and that passion in itself shouldn't be in self doubt as much as possible, for that's just an easy excuse to wallowing in the number of futility in life.

Na Na

they were silent eyes

glaring and staring,

as if demanding an answer,

a wish to be found. 


but nothing else they did,

nothing special,

as if everything's arranged inside their corneas.

as if convenience were a simple thought.


wary eyes behind ivory castles built 10 feet high.

maybe scared to death,

maybe deluded,

maybe just a hollow self,

hoping for a return to the past.


never thinking of a better future,

always wallowing.


- johnny, inspired by NA NA NA NA NA NA, MCR.