Checking in for the seasons and jolly

It was that time of the year where people get sticky and bolstered with festive cheer. The colours of the day were red and white, not my favourite ones but they'd do. People were drumming themselves into a joyous mood, but it wasn't for all of us. I liked the spirit of the holidays, they give so much cheer to the young ones. The older ones, including me, checked out of the year weeks ahead and were just on auto pilot doing stuff that we ought to do, but really if you had something good to plan it would be a few months prior. The only things I knew were not ones for the season, but it could always be a better tomorrow. :)

The protector

We kept in touch, and from a distance sometimes I monitored her progress. She was happy to let it be, our friendship was set and it was a time for unwinding for the mercurial woman. The person within always chased for something, a goal, a person, an objective, an item, and it was not difficult to apply that to other things judiciously. It is improbable that I would stand still, and would rather row backwards for that sort of experience if need be. It was not certain though that either of us were the lesser, and the other the gift. I was trained in intellect, and she had a knack of people. In a world of chaos, those two were distinct traits, and not one was lesser until proven, and even so, it must be done over and over again, just like a day's routine. :)

The journey

It was the calm of the inevitable that took us the distance for that journey to land. We were hungry, though not too much. It was tough, and yet the shoreline for our minds was always within reach. But it took its toll, and perhaps that was fatal to any couple. The cruise always took its payment, not in money, but in your time, your love, your soul. That was the beauty of it. People always fixated on the material things, and yet they give up the most obvious of treasures in the pursuit, the chase. However I always made sure there was a string cast out that bound her tiny feet to me. So she would know the way back if she wanted to.

Difficulty: Impossible

Parched.. That was the mood of that escapade. The thought of morning was supposed to be redemption, a relief from darkness but after baking in the sun for immeasurable amounts of time, it was really absolution. She was coughing, and had most of the covers to insulate herself, and I was miserable, knowing that it was my helm that navigated us to a sorrowful schtick. Sure, we had each other, but the red sun burns were more prominent than anything else. I asked her about regret, and to my surprise it wasn't a bad conversation. She adored the idea of us, more than I ever could muster with that hot blooded stride out of a theater, or the same from our flat eons ago. This was making the vision reality. And it was impossible.

Forgetting the mess

At some point of time you got to deal with things that aren't documented, and I forgot about it. It was in the mind that we were on the shores in a foreign land, with the backdrop of the Alps and the baby blue. It was the city center of Lausanne and I took her to every detail of the parks and piers. We dabbed feet in the lake and felt the coolness of the autumn, and the bright colours of the center really spoke to her inner child. She wanted pictures as much as our phones could store, and we ran and stopped randomly, sitting whenever needed and suffered no fools. Bliss... finally. 

Rabbits

It was a silent thought, not because I was weak but she never had the appetite for adventure and hardly hid that trait, but it was always something that intrigued our hearts. We, well me, continued rowing into the unknown, going where the seas would take us, and soon enough there were vague signs of life. We heard in a distance sounds of quite possible a horn, and then in another blind corner a rustling of leaves in a distance. However, we knew not to chase the rabbit. We stayed put, hope for a sign. The fear of the night was not kind. It felt miserable, and then painful, and finally it was morning.

Eternity?

 At least it felt like it. It wasn't long before we had the realisation that things weren't getting easier on the boat, stranded in a billowing abyss of a black night and clouds. Thank goodness it wasn't choppy seas or stormy weather, a drifter's nightmare averted. Then the skies cleared a little, and there were stars. Millions of stars. Something we never saw on the shimmering cruise. She gasped in wonder, and smiled as she paced around the boat looking for a moon. And it was rising behind us, a full one in fact. I felt her hand in mine, and I grasped it firmly, almost apologetically. Its my fault we are here, Sparrow, now that we have seen the other side, can we even go back?

Night & waves

 It didn't matter to them, and it meant all the world to me. I told her, Sparrow, we can do this. She sounded really tired when she said the same things, always nitpicking the details of the journey. She slept at the port side, and I rowed for our lives. When she awoke, I talked to her incessantly, hoping to lift her attention from the dire circumstances we were in. It didn't work, soon she was lamenting the departure from the cruise. "I am worthless," she said, "at least the cruise didn't mind that." Yet in a whisper it was me who replied that, "You are all that matters." For once she didn't fight back and stared ahead silently as we rowed deep into the pitch black waters of a dreaded night.

Leaving

Could it be? That a woman aged by life still had something left to bring? That she wasn't filled with bitterness and married to the ship. The skeptic in me was screaming fallacy! But if there was even a small chance of getting her with me, it was worth all the risk. I reached out to her, and grabbed her hand. She said nothing, resigned in fate. It was of hers and mine as we reclined to the boat, with absolutely nothing but broken dreams and lost youth. That was love, and it doomed everyone else who chose the same. We rowed towards the sunset, with not a care in the world as the cruise pass us by, without skipping a beat.

The smile

She was satiated by the theater, but that makes only the one of us. It was time to leave the haunting cruise ship, and it was opportune without alarm. I got together my things, and I heard the voice of an angel in the theater one last time. I couldn't bare to see it. It was too much, the memory of her would have captivated me even if she was wilted by time. I got to the side and started moving the fingers around the rope and levers tying each rescue vessel. It was not long before I got one lowered into the ocean and I could just go. Before I did the rappel down to the hull, I looked back at the monstrosity one more time. And there she was, smiling back at me.

Flash in a pan

It turns out that time rots everything, even our thing. Having sleepwalked through the cruise, and everything in between, we were aged beyond the careless youth, and yearn for a consistency beyond those delusions. Desperate to not let the world do us in, I got her from the stage and we ran out, hands intertwined, and it turned out we had been still in the damned theater in the cruise, and we had to leave this monstrous thing that had stifled our love for its own purposes, none of it noble or smart, but petty and vindictive. She asked me if I felt the same, and I looked at her, aged by time, and said you are the most beautiful girl in my eyes. Because it was true, ignoring the wicked hearts that conspired to blind us with fake ideas and false wisdom. Tears fell, and hard at the deck side. 

The devil's den

The cruise was no longer docked at the lands, but sailing in the middle of an ocean. There was no leaving once you came. The idea to make it out was so pertinent in my mind, but she was still drawn by the sound of music. Sparrow.. She was almost asleep with tiredness, free of dread, and my voice was booming, hoping to invigorate her last flickers at the wick. Please love, don't go back. Devon... I love you, just let me go, I am free from desire, and now the music fills me. I am wilted from the fights, the pushes and pain, it is time to accept..

The voice

I heard her voice, familiar yet distant, but sin was holding me like bosom to a baby, keeping me safe from all that gargle. Pathetic boy, what a sham to drift on! It was just a few drinks, and yet the wandering and hallucinations were endless. If it would all end in a drunken stupor, that would be such a shame. But that was reality, even with the care of a million hearts. The conjurer's trick was to deluge your own concerns in shiraz for the loves. Her voice wasn't one of despair, it was one of indulgence. She had found her audience, as did I, watching over her songs and dance. She recognised me from afar, where I was seated, and she smiled as I watched. It could easily have been years apart since the first time our eyes met, but that was the game. You play it fast when you are dead.

Nature

Was it a jebait? No one really knew. It was just how mother nature does her thing. Some people thrive when venturing out when the sun goes down. However, it was self evident that yours truly was not one of those people given the lack of physique and natural instincts. Many would fall badly, and personally it was inevitable. My energy levels go down more than anyone else during the close of day. It was a no-brainer going back on the cruise and searching for nostalgia was more my thing. The voices were silent now, but my head spun like a top and so I got to the cabin and laid in bed. Sleep, Mister Chase, sleep.

A walkway to heaven

The classes were made in an open space near the end of cruise. Attached to the cruise was a metallic walkway that led into the mountains. Many people were taking long voyages and back, and when the orange lights illuminated the backdrop it was stunning like heaven, and it compelled the adventurer within to just walk towards the nature and explore what's beyond the walkways, which seemed to stretch for miles. However, there was a voice within that held me back firmly, it was the logical one that chastised me on the follies of a short journey into night. Don't you remember the zombies? It did slip my mind, and yet nothing really mattered.

Disjointed

Maybe it is my memory failing me, but at some point her concerns faded into the background whereas I found myself walking down a familiar bricked exposed spiral stairs that led towards the floor below, and in true fashion the doors were designed to look like those of a destroyer, the wheeled handle and all. I pushed against the door and it opened to a room with carpets and yellow light. In front there was a console where a bunch of people were being lectured on. It was a curious sight, more university than a cruise. They were being taught about corporate structures and they felt a docked cruise was a nice way to engage the corporate minds. I was alone.

Fogged

I heard her voice somewhere, saying please Chase, stop what you're doing. Its getting too much. In a fog, I saw her being slightly hysterical, but she cared and that was what surprised me, given the incident in the car park. Not yet in tears, no, not from the tone of her voice, but there was stress building up silently from her gestures. That was comforting, infinitely. I was woke and realised the folly of the game. They had taken away so much from both of us just with the cheap thrills of the expensive machines, she had had enough and went to get a drink. I followed closely, now that the alcohol had been drained from my psyche with the panick in her voice previously. It was only day one.

The Spiral

They offered us drinks if we were to trade in the colour of our skin, or the shirts off our backs. Those looked like incredibly easy choices, but that was their sleight of hand. In the giddiness of the wonders, Sparrow was poised to be as relentless as she could be, if the hold was not firm. She wanted to explore everything, and try anything, and that was her nature. I watched by her side, and in the middle of it all was washed into the frenzy of the smog myself as we entered the casino. It was one of unassuming beauty, peril, and the bright colours were intoxicating. She did small bets, and was easily disappointed. I however was taken to a machine of gadgets, and started making bets bigger than each loss. It was an easy spiral..

Smoke & Mirrors

The casino loomed forward with the cloud of smoke, occupied by heavy smokers and drinkers. We were treated with the circus display in the foyer of the ship, and she was taken to the clowns and pop culture in the main lobby. I wasn't blind to spectacle, but rather deconstructed the big hall in my mind to see how they made such an area seem much bigger than it was. The stairwell spiralled to the top and had the illusion of depth beyond a trickster's paradise. I wanted to see what it was later but she was always my focus. The girl would get hurt by the most innocuous of influences, and there were many reasons to be wary of a cruise, especially for an unwitting couple.

Cruise

When you think of cruises, it may be an impression of pleasure and merry. At that point of time, under headlights, it was indeed one of great promise. As we waltzed towards the arched entrance, it felt like walking on water. The grounds were shifty and the lady smiled sinisterly at how we reacted in shock. Yet it was not one of peril, because we weren't thrown off the pier but rather welcomed in open arms by the crew onto that big cruiseship. As we looked onward, it was one of majestic human defiance in the backdrop of mountains and dark skies. The entertainment was on full display as we crossed the arch. It was a colossal beauty.